- Nigerian lady Omobolanle Adeyemo and her husband Temitope dated 8 years without any intimacy
- She shared her story through her Facebook about the ups and downs of waiting for marriage before you get intimate
Nigerian couple Omobolanle Adeyemo and her husband Temitope got married earlier this year. One thing that will surprise you is the couple coats of having dated for eight years without any sort of intimacy.
Speaking with life Coach, Solomon Buchi Bartholomew, she chatted with him about her decision and their relationship.
She started: "My name is Omobolanle Adeyemo.I am a total abstinence advocate and believe in youths keeping themselves pure until Marriage. I am 29 years old. Temitope and I were 21 and 22 years respectively when we started."
How did you meet Temitope?
Well, we were classmates and he was the extremely intelligent one in class. I gave my consent to start a relationship with him because we shared same values. I saw him as focused, ambitious and reasonable. I wanted somebody who would not pressure me for s*x, a well self-controlled man. I am his first and he’s mine as well.
He tells me that my values did attract me to him. Just like him, he desired to remain pure until marriage and when he met me, it was an answer to his prayer. He had godly values that aligned with mine. I was not ready to compromise on some of them. When I discovered through friendship with him that our values clicked, the attraction spurred.
How do you guys do it? As in dating for 8 years without being intimate?
We dated for almost eight years without it. It was going to be eight years on the 13th of December this year if we hadn’t gotten married.
Trust me when I tell you that the two of us made it happen because we both agreed to a non-intimate relationship from the let go. Our convictions were personal. We were not going it for anyone but were personally convinced it was best for both of us and because God instructs same. I think problem arises when one party isn’t up for the abstinence game while the other is or one party is doing it selfishly for the other without any genuine personal convictions.
He told me he was a v*rgin, I believed so. Time with him had proved to me that he was not a person who would say a thing and mean another. He was a person of integrity. He was also watching out for me. He wouldn’t also tempt me. Much more, we always asked for God’s help. It was always a simple prayer of telling God to help us not to complicate our lives with premarital intimacy.
Because if you ask me if there were times I felt like removing his trousers and touching his penis? Oh yeah! At that point, we learnt to voice our urges to each other rather than demonstrate what you actually feel. I tell him about this and he’d say, ‘Don’t worry baby. Just a little more time.’ We both knew things that could lead to it and avoided them like plagues.
Lastly, how has being intimate been?
Konji (s*x) is beautiful. I like that I can play with hubby’s body without shame, shyness or guilt. Secondly, I like that I can choose to do it any day, anytime, without guilt. That alone awes me.
I like that anytime I am in the mood, I don’t have to begin to pray about such feelings anymore or start my abstinence therapy. I also like that I don’t have to worry if my period doesn’t arrive as it ought to. Marriage gives all such kind of freedom.
Watch the video below of Nigerian men telling NAIJ.com what they would do it they find out their wife cheated: